Dancing With Caution Tape

 I don't care who you are, but in any relationship, things can get rough at times.  That is if you're both truly being honest with each other and yourself.  We are all very unique individuals and there's going to be times when we're going to bump heads. 

Something my partner said to me once when our "conversation" was interrupted for a moment and I came back and said, "Now, where were we?" She said, "We were dancing with caution tape."  I thought that was a great way to explain it.  Too many times in the past we had let emotions flare, and things get out of hand where neither of us felt good about ourselves or our relationship.  We've been working on being able to share our feelings, yet stay out of our kid place and stay in our adult.  To stay in reality of two adults who deeply love each other, yet obviously have picked up some "buttons" in our past life experience (mostly childhood buttons) before we knew each other.  Now, we were working on coming together, listening more to the other person, and opening up to the possibility of actually working through our issues together as two loving adults with respect for ourselves and each other.

It's so easy to give up on a relationship when things aren't smooth sailing, but that's when you find out if you truly are right for each other.  In our early years, as we went through our "getting to know each other" stage and we found ourselves having to leave the house at night and go for a walk because the "conversation" was a bit intense, I would tell myself this..I know that no matter who I am with, I'm going to go through these difficult times of learning about the other person, learning about issues, concerns, buttons, likes, dislikes, you name it, and learning about myself and my own issues.  So, my question to myself was, "If I'm going to go through this with whomever I'm with, then who do I want to go through this with?"  My answer was always, my current partner.  She's the one who I want to learn and grow with.  She's the one who I want to experience the good times and the bad with.  She's who I want by my side no matter what.  If you can say that about your partner, in the heat of things, then chances are, you're with the right person.

So, next time you're in that intense "conversation" moment, remember to ask yourself...who do you want to go through this with?  Remember, this is the person you love, the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.  Treat her with respect and love, and especially be sure to really listen from her place and not from within yourself.  The intensity will start to subside and you will find yourselves working together more rather than against each other.  Before you know it you'll be...dancing with caution tape, too, which (believe me) feels a whole lot better than butting heads.